aliengeekgirl: (With Jack)
“The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn.” - David Russell

She felt him approach rather than heard him. He was trying to be quiet, but maybe she was just too attuned to how everything felt in this place. She didn’t move from her contemplation of the bay.

“Tosh?” The question was loaded with so much more than just checking she was alive and functioning. There was ‘are you okay’ there, with a hint of ‘what the hell are you doing out here, it’s freezing’ and a dash of ‘this is odd behaviour for you’. She could hear it all so clearly. “It’s late.”

She turned her head to look at her boss – her friend, perhaps? They were never sure at times how Jack felt about them. Yes, he would probably do anything to protect his team, but it always felt like it was a one way deal. Jack never gave anything of himself in return, or else it was just tiny snippets – not enough to get hold of anything substantial. No matter how much they wanted to protect him in return, they couldn’t. “I know,” she said.

“Owen was worried about you,” Jack said, coming to sit down next to her. “Especially as you haven’t been back to work in, oh, six hours?”

“I needed time to think it through,” she said, not looking at him. “A lot has happened.”

“I know,” Jack replied. “But you did the right thing.”

“Did I?” she suddenly snapped, turning on Jack. “Did I? I encouraged him to go back to what, his death? He was terrified, Jack, and it hurt. It hurt me so much to see him like that. All he wanted to do was to stop fighting. The fact that we still have wars today – it was all futile to him. It’ll never be stopped. Tommy is going to die for nothing.”

“Tosh. He wanted to go back,” Jack said softly.

“No, he didn’t. He chose to, but he didn’t want to. We didn’t exactly give him much choice, did we? Stay, and watch the whole world unravel, or go back and die. I loved him, and I sent him to his death.”

“It’s done though, Tosh. We grieve, we move on, it’s all we can do.”

“Is that what’s left, Jack? Giving everything up, everytime, so that Cardiff, the UK can carry on with their sordid little lives?”

“Yeah. It is. It’s tough for us, but you knew the risks.”

Tosh sighed, going back to her contemplations of the Bay for a moment. “Five years yesterday,” she said suddenly.

Jack blinked, thinking. “Wow. Yeah, it is. Time flies.”

“I want out, Jack.”

“What?” Jack turned and stared at her.

“I want out. I can’t take it anymore, the way Torchwood takes everything, corrupts it. Retcon me, let me get some kind of normal life back. That was the deal, wasn’t it? All that time ago, in prison. Five years. I’ve given them, and willingly. Now... I want normal.”

Jack was silent for a moment. “What about your family? Your mother. You know I can’t retcon her, and it’ll be difficult for you.”

“Plant memories. Make me think she’s dead. Have me in a coma for five years...” Tosh turned to look at Jack. “I want out, before it kills me, or worse.”

Jack looked at the ground, then slowly nodded. “Sleep on it tonight,” he said. “We’ll talk in the morning.”

“My decision won’t change.”

“We’ll talk then.”

Toshiko Sato
Word Count: 568
Start of an AU verse exploring if Toshiko had decided to leave Torchwood after her five years. Jack Harkness isn't binding to any muse.
aliengeekgirl: (crack team)
Comment here and ask me any question you want, I promise to answer truthfully no matter what it is.--But only one!

And then you have to post the same offer to your own journal.


Nov. 17th, 2009 04:03 pm
aliengeekgirl: (Sassy woman)
Out of curiosity, is anyone going to Collectormania at the end of the month? I'll be there on the Saturday (already decided before they announced John Barrowman in the Sunday only...)

I'm ridiculously excited, I've just booked a photo session ticket with Derek Jacobi!
aliengeekgirl: (Geeky)
107 Five things you might (have) posted to Twitter (had it been invented).

It is far too early to be at work. Need coffee

@coffeeboi no, that wasn't a hint, but I wouldn't say no

@snarkymedman Did you even make it home?

@snarkymedman You know, I'm not even going to ask. Drink tonight?

@toohandsome Of course it'll be ready. I'm not only on this thing...

108 Describe your character in one sentence

She lived her life giving everything, and she wouldn't have it any other way.
aliengeekgirl: (crack team)
Title: In Memoriam
Author: Originally posted at [ profile] kirsteena
Fandom: Torchwood
Rating: PG
Prompt: Prompt #49:
Someone, I tell you,
will remember us.
We are oppressed by fears of oblivion
yet are always saved
by judgment of good men. -- Sappho
Word Count: 3859
Summary: Jack, Gwen and Ianto discover something she has left behind.
Author's Notes: Thanks to the wonderful [ profile] verdant_gt for beta reading.

In Memoriam )
aliengeekgirl: (Geeky)
How do you approach prompt writing with your character? Eg Do you have ideas and then find a prompt to fit them or are you inspired by the prompt? How much does having a deadline make a difference? How many more would you write if there was a direct feed from your brain to your computer?

For Toshiko, it varies from prompt to prompt really. There have been times I have had ideas that I’ve just had to write, to get them down on paper quickly, then have gone through lists of prompts to try and find one to fit. The frustration sometimes as I look for just the right prompt is amusing, well, certainly to me.

More often than not though, I’m inspired by the prompt itself. I look at the list, be it here or at any of the other prompt communities Tosh is part of, think ‘ooooooooo’ and start writing from there. Though depending on what I’ve written lately, I will try to write something ‘different’. Sometimes I need a kick, though. I need to create AUs for her, can’t be just about canon, after all (hint hint, if anyone wants to rp/work with me, I’m up for interaction!).

Deadlines to help me. I’m currently writing a fic for [ profile] femgenficathon, and knowing that the deadline is coming up is a great focusing tool for me. I try not to leave everything quite till the last thing, but you can guarantee I won’t get it done in the first half of the allocated time!

I don’t know if I would write more if there was a direct feed to my computer from my brain. I’m one of those strange people who actually enjoys writing longhand. I do my best writing on trains, for instance, or stupidly, late at night while sitting up in bed. I have the pens I like, I have the notepads I like (bottom line, I spend way too much money in Paperchase), and I can happily write 1000 words long hand in about 45 mins just before bed. I have no idea why, and it irritates me at times (and my partner, actually), but it’s just the way I work.

Toshiko Sato
Word Count: 311
aliengeekgirl: (Sonic Modulator)
We’re scavengers, really. Taking the flotsam and jetsam that the Rift sends us, working out what we can use, what we can’t. Dangerous. Safe. Good. Bad...

We get scared if we see someone use technology far in advance of what we have, and yet if they leave it behind, we pounce, like a big cat stalking its prey, taking it, using it, devouring it.

We scavenge.


Because, as Jack is so fond of saying, it’s the 21st century when everything changes. Events are happening faster than most of us can keep up with. The rift is bringing things through at an increasing rate. Somehow, we have to try and protect ourselves, even with the knowledge that one day we will fail. One day, we won’t be able to adapt fast enough, someone will come through with something so far in advance we cannot cope. But until that happens, we try. We have to – often we are the only thing standing between normality and anarchy.

So, we scavenge. And will continue to do so. It’s my job.

Toshiko Sato
Word Count: 177
aliengeekgirl: (alien necklace)
Five things you'd rather forget

Toshiko had one or two regrets )

Toshiko Sato
Word Count: 541
aliengeekgirl: (Shooting glove)
“Toshiko!” Jack bounded out of his office into the central area of the Hub. Tosh had various pieces of computer strewn all over the place, while she was sat on the floor, rewiring something. She almost jumped as Jack called her name, then raised her head to look at him.

“Yes?” she replied, curious as to what he had in mind. She was still trying to figure out how she fitted into this place, and the fiddling with computers was something that made her feel normal. She was clinging to that like it was a lifeline.

“Something all new Torchwood staff get taught. Come on, I wanna show you something.” Tosh gave Jack a quizzical look, then caught Suzie’s eye. She was grinning, which made Tosh frown even more. She stood up and followed Jack

“Okay. What is it?” she asked as she hurried to catch up with him.

“Something you need to learn,” Jack said. “This isn’t a safe job by any means, so...” He rounded a corner into a tunnel – where Tosh was faced with paper targets hanging up, and racks upon racks of weapons, some which she recognised, others which she didn’t.

“Whoa,” she said, unable to help herself as she looked around her. “This is...”

“Pretty cool, huh? Jack finished for her. “Like I said, this job isn’t easy, or safe, so you need to learn how to fire all of these. Ever fired a gun before?”

Tosh shook her head, her eyes wide. “All of these?” she asked weakly, staring at Jack.

He moved close to her, and caught her gaze. “Toshiko, I never promised this would be an easy ride. UNIT know that, or they wouldn’t have let you go so easily. But this job is dangerous, and if I keep harping on about it, it’s so you know. Even though you’re our new technical specialist, you will be needed in the field, and not every alien is nice and friendly.”

Tosh took a deep breath, and nodded. She could do this. She had to.

“Okay, first and foremost. This is your standard issue gun...”

Toshiko Sato
Word Count: 351
aliengeekgirl: (A Day in the Life)
It was coming. Tosh could feel it in the air. She didn’t know how she knew, just that she did.

It was okay though. Really.

The night she realised, she smiled to herself as she sat at home, working through some reports. It struck her, crept up on her silently, like a whisper on the wind.

Tosh did what she knew she had to.

She made a list.

Over the next few days she started to tick off things from her list. Some were difficult, and took time. Others were easy.

And no one knew what she was doing.

That sense that someone was coming became clearer the day that Martha arrived at Torchwood. Somehow Tosh knew it would be soon.

And it was still okay. She went through her list, finishing off things, one by one.

There was one thing she still had to do.

The next day, Martha was going to enter the Pharm, find out what was going on. Everyone had taken off for the night, and Tosh was left alone.

She sat at her monitor, and pressed some buttons, then took off her glasses, and began to speak.

“if you're seeing this, I guess it means, I'm.... well, dead. Hope it was impressive! Not crossing the road or an incident with a toaster. I just wanted to say... it's OK. It really is. Jack, you saved me. You showed me all the wonders of the universe and... all those possibilities. And I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Thank you. And Owen, you never knew. I love you. All of you. And... I hope I did good.”

She reached out, and pressed stop, then encoded it into the system.

All ready for what the future would – or in her case wouldn’t - bring.

Toshiko Sato
Word Count: 218 (not including dialogue from show)
aliengeekgirl: (Working with Owen)
Coldplay: 42

They sat at their consoles, staring at the screens, but not really seeing what was on them. Occasionally, Ianto would walk past, either heading into Jack’s office with something for him to sign, or to deliver coffee or something equally as inane to them.

“How...?” Tosh started and stopped, glancing briefly at Owen, then back at her screen. Both of them were studiously avoiding looking at the area where Suzie worked.

“Gwen is starting properly tomorrow, remember,” Jack said, walking past, his greatcoat flowing out behind him. Tosh and Owen watched as he went through the rolling door outside, both of them staying silent.

Owen slammed his clipboard down on the desk. “Sod this. I’ve had enough. You. Me. Pint. Let’s go.”

Tosh looked up at him, surprised. Despite her feelings for him, there had always been an underlying friendship between them – one which Tosh relished. She nodded, starting to switch off her computer. “Just give me two minutes,” she said, gathering her things together.

Twenty minutes later, they’d found one of the quieter pubs in Cardiff, and were sitting facing each other at a table, both of them with pints in their hands. “What gets me,” Owen said, after downing about half of the pint quickly, “is that we’re supposed to just bloody well carry on as normal.”

Tosh paused, thinking. “I think for him, it has to,” she said, carefully. Owen gave her a quizzical look. “Remember Jeff?”

“Yeah. Here before Suzie. What’s that got to do with it?” Owen asked, bemused.

“Remember how he spent a day in the middle of Cardiff, yelling out that ‘Aliens were coming, the end of the world is nigh?’” Owen laughed slightly then nodded. Tosh leaned forward slightly. “He claimed that aliens told him to say that.”

“Oh for god’s sake,” Owen said. “Nut job.”

“Actually, apparently there were. Jack found evidence of them in his flat.”

“Why didn’t I know? I’m the medical officer, after all.”

“Owen, you’d been there two months. Apparently Jack decided to take matters into his own hands. And there was the incident at the millennium.”

“Tosh, I didn’t know you were the gossip amongst us,” Owen said, smirking.

Tosh flushed slightly. “Well, I’m the one who has to fill out reports – it gives me access to some of the buried files. Did you know that Jack’s boss killed everyone except him when the year 2000 came along?”

“No. And really, I don’t see what this has to do with Suzie killing people then using the glove!” Owen said, pointing out what he thought was obvious.

“Don’t you see?” Tosh said, showing insight into Jack. “He has to keep going. It’s one of those things he has to do. Bury the past, move onto the future. Suzie’s part of that. She’s one of those things he has to carry around with him – the fact that he couldn’t help her, couldn’t stop her. And god knows how many he’s had to carry around with him.”

Owen looked at Tosh and shook his head. “Okay, so Jack might not be human emotionally, but he’s gotta remember that we are. That we miss our colleagues, are shocked by what they do. How are we supposed to cope?”

Tosh sighed in response. “When you find out, let me know.”

Toshiko Sato
Word Count: 549
aliengeekgirl: (crack team)
People you've counted as friends at some point during your life


... what a pathetic list. I need to get out more.
aliengeekgirl: (crack team)
Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do. ~ Apple Computer

Tosh hated feeling like a fish out of water, but with most social situations, and she was including work in this, it was how she felt. All of the time.

She’d tried to fit in, truly, but in a crowd of fellow nerds and geeks, she might as well have been wearing the highly-polished crown.

Her supervisors had noticed her genius, of course, and exploited it. Just as any government operation would. She worked swiftly, efficiently, getting any project she worked on finished quickly and working just as it should.

It made her stand out, be the obvious one to choose when the other group to use someone to built their sonic modulator, and who knows what afterwards. Made her end up in her darkest place.

But at Torchwood, in amongst a band of misfits, dreamers, thinkers, people who dared, she found her place. Genius ran free in here, in whatever form it took – Suzie, with her knowledge of weaponry, and her ability to predict what Jack would do next; Jack, with his uncanny knack of finding just what they needed to, working their way out of situations; Owen with his amazing ability to figure out alien physiology, as well as a touch of anything else; and Ianto, who’s coffee bordered on genius.

Here, one genius amongst many, was where Toshiko finally found out where she belonged. Crazy enough to change the world? Maybe. They were certainly crazy enough to save it.

Toshiko Sato
Word Count: 242
aliengeekgirl: (Dressy)
Cardiff, 1941


I don’t have much time here, but if this works, I can hopefully use this to get help to Jack and myself.

By now, you are working for Torchwood. If I have set this up correctly, you should be getting this letter just after Gwen starts at Torchwood Don’t hate her for what she will do – Owen is as much at fault

When readings from the Rift point to something strange at the Cardiff Dance Hall, be careful. Please. I can’t stress it enough. The Rift will be giving some very abnormal readings, and doing strange things, but it will lead to Jack and I going back to 1941 – which is why the date at the top. At the moment, I’m trying to send the team the formula which should help reverse this. However, I think there is something we can do to stop it from happening in the first place.

Yes. I’m talking about altering time lines. But when the alternative is the pair of us being stuck, I don’t see we have much choice.

At the very least, you and Jack musn’t go to the Dance Hall to check out the ghosts. If you do, you will be sucked back. However, I believe we can stop the fluctuations from happening in the first place, then this whole mess won’t have even begun. But, you will have to be careful. If Jack gets any idea of what you are doing, he will try to stop you.

I’ve enclosed my part of the equation. You will have to put it together which what you’ve already worked out and put into the system.

Please... please try to stop this from happening. 1941 is amazing, but horrifying. The racism... well, anything you’ve seen before now is nothing compared to this.

I never want you to live through what I’ve just been through.

Toshiko Sato
Word Count: 313
aliengeekgirl: (Coffee)
Coffee. Plain and simple. Well, not quite so plain and simple, but you get the idea.

To be fair, not every workplace can count a coffee making genius amongst it's staff. I don't know what he does to it, but every cup of coffee that Ianto makes is like that first cup after a month away from it. Smooth, but with that typical bitter overtones, he just knows exactly when you need that cup of coffee to give you the kick to keep going. And with the hours we sometimes pull, that's necessary.

... alright, the coffee may appear more when Jack is around, but that's just a good reason to keep him here, isn't it?

When the rest of us try to make coffee, it doesn't ever have the same taste. Honestly, don't let Owen near a coffee machine. Anything that could go wrong with it, will.

Personally, I think Ianto must have been the god of baristas in a previous life.

Toshiko Sato
Word Count: 162
aliengeekgirl: (Team Torchwood)
“Why does it have to be St David's Day. We don't celebrate St George's Day,” Owen ask, staring at the two Welsh members of the team. “Tosh, back me up here.”

“He's got a point,” Tosh replied, with an apologetic grin for Gwen. “Equal opportunities and all that.”

“We're in Cardiff. Wales, remember?” Gwen said, hitting Owen on the shoulder.

“So?” Owen replied. “Me and Tosh are English. You get to celebrate in our country, we demand our rights too.”

Tosh merely smiled as she watched the banter between them, Ianto interjecting here and there, Jack staying mostly silent. After all they'd been through with Abaddon, and the arguments amongst the team, just to see them here, bickering like this, was something she'd never expected. When Jack was away they had started to move back towards it, having to work as a team without his influence, but now he was back... everything just felt right. She felt someone watching her, and turned to look at Jack.

“You okay, Toshiko?” he asked, watching her.

“Mmm hmmm,” she replied smiling slightly.

“What do you think?” Tosh realised she'd lost track of the conversation with her thoughts.


“Exactly. We should have a day dedicated to me. And that's final.”

Toshiko Sato
Word Count: 207
aliengeekgirl: (In cell)
Who is one person who has changed your life and why?

There is a very simple answer to that question.

Captain Jack Harkness.

Of course, I know now that isn’t his real name, having met the real Jack Harkness, but it’s what I’ve always known him as, and he wears it as well as any other. I couldn’t think of him as anyone else.

Without going into too much painful detail, Jack saved me. He took me from where I was, from what I was, and showed me a different path. All the wonders of the universe, all those possibilities, just there, waiting for me. He offered me a chance to embrace them, to make a difference to the world about me. I reached out, and took it with both hands.

How often are you given chances like that? I’d have been a fool not to take it, even if only to get out of the situation I was in. But it turned out to be so much more... and I will forever be grateful to Jack for the chance.

Toshiko Sato
Word Count: 169
aliengeekgirl: (A Day in the Life)
If you had to pick one episode/story that defined your character, which would it be?

The one episode which I feel defined Tosh, was the episode ‘To the Last Man’ in Season Two. I thought about all the Season One ones, but this to me strikes more of a chord. Please accept my apologies for what is pretty much a ramble!

This episode, for me, showed so many sides of Tosh. From the gentle, caring side, excited to see Tommy no matter what, through realising that she may be falling for him even with the knowledge that he will only be awake for one day of the year, and then dealing with the realisation that this is the year when he has to go back to 1918 to save the world. It heartbreakingly shows how alone Tosh is in her life, that she is willing to accept that situation, that chance as better than what she has now.

But the episode also showed other sides of her. When she realises that she is the one who has to make Tommy do what he needs to, she hates it at first, but she does it, even knowing that once he is back he will be court martialled and executed for cowardice, because she knows it is for the good of not only her friends and team, but the whole world. At the end of the day, Tosh is like all the rest of the team, she will do what she needs to for the greater good, even if it means putting your feelings aside, and talking to a man who she loves on some level – and who loved her in return, and forcing him to turn that key, trusting in him.

For me, this episode also helps define her relationship with Owen. They have always been friendly (well, most of the time, apart from the odd blip), but here, there is a definite shift both on Owen’s part – this is the first time he shows that he cares about her, even if only as a friend – and Tosh, who we’ve known for a long time is in love with him, seems more comfortable with him as a friend. It’s from here on in that there is a genuine swing in their relationship, with the pair of them becoming closer, leading up to their amazing final scene together at the end of Season 2.

Toshiko Sato
Word Count: 387
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